


you're little, but you're big

by longlivejohnlock (Sherlockxxxx)



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Abuse, Anti-Ezria - Freeform, Best Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Statutory Rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-11-15 01:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11220210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlockxxxx/pseuds/longlivejohnlock
Summary: Takes place after the cops release Aria's belongings in 7x18, but instead of Spencer leaving, Aria convinces her to stay, and they have a very real discussion about Aria's relationship.





	1. you're small but you are mighty

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://prettylittleliarsxxxx.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> **Please note that this is anti Ezra Fitz and anti Ezria.**

Quietly, Aria poured burning hot water from the kettle into their teacups, the flowery scent of her favourite herbal tea filling the air. 

“Thank you for staying, Spence,” Aria said, flashing a small, meek smile. 

“Sure,” Spencer replied with the same kind of smile, slowly stirring her teabag with a spoon, the clink of the spoon against the sides of the cup the only sound that could be heard in what was now Ezra’s loft apartment. 

It was always odd for Spencer to be in the apartment when it used to be Toby’s. It used to be a place she enjoyed being, a place with so many memories — good and bad. Now it was the place Aria lived with the boyfriend that none of the girls actually liked. They all knew Aria could do better, that she had done better. Ali was always especially vocal about it, but Aria never knew. It seems that the time has come, though, for Aria to hear some truths about her relationship. Spencer kept mindlessly stirring her teabag, not sure how to break the silence between them. 

“I’m —,” Aria started.

“So —,” Spencer had said at the same time.

They both chuckled awkwardly and Spencer wished things weren’t so broken. 

“You go first,” Spencer said.

Aria nodded and smiled sadly again. She cleared her throat and stared down at the countertop, avoiding eye contact. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I know that doesn’t make anything better or change what I did. I messed up. I messed up so bad, Spence.”

“Why’d you do it, Aria?” 

“I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could have come to us!” Spencer exclaimed, a bit of anger entangled in her words. 

“Could I have, though?” Aria shot back.

Spencer moved her head back, confused. It was like she had been slapped. It made her so beyond heartbroken to think that Aria didn’t feel like she could come clean to the girls. To Spencer. 

“I’m not stupid, Spencer. Ali made it pretty clear in the woods that she wouldn’t care if Ezra went to jail.”

Spencer took her spoon out of her teacup and let it clatter to the countertop, drops of tea dripping carelessly. 

“That wasn’t what she meant!” 

Aria tilted her head and put on that stubborn face that only Aria had perfected. It was like she was challenging Spencer to tell her she was wrong. Spencer closed her eyes for a moment and took a sip of her tea, savouring the lavender taste in her throat. 

“Okay,” Spencer conceded. “Maybe it was. But…. Aria. Can you blame her?”

“Uh. Yeah, yeah I can.”

Spencer readjusted in her seat and turned to face Aria more head-on. She took another sip of her tea and then folded her hands in front of her. It was the natural position her body took when she was ready to explain something to someone. 

“Ali has spent her whole life being taken advantage by men. Look at her history, Aria,” Spencer said. “Ian, Cyrus, Rollins, Lorenzo, and I’m sorry, Aria, but Ezra is included in that.” 

“Not the way Ali tells it,” Aria replied, defending Ezra as per usual.

“Yeah, maybe she lied about her age at that bar or whatever, but she didn’t make him write that book. She didn’t make him spy on us and stalk us for years.”

“But…”

“No, let me finish, this is important.”

Aria nodded solemnly. 

“She didn’t make him find you in a bar and seduce you, knowing full well that you were in high school. That isn’t Ali’s fault and you know it. I know you know it,” Spencer said firmly, but with love in her voice. “But this isn’t about Ali, ok? It’s about you and what you did. And why you did it.”

Shaking her head, Aria pushed back her bar stool and backed away from Spencer, tears filling her eyes and her lip wobbling, her jaw clenched from trying to keep the tears in her eyes instead of down her cheeks. 

“I don’t think I want to talk about this anymore.”

“We either talk about it, or I have to walk away. And I don’t want to walk away, Aria. I really don’t.”

Aria was silent, her jaw still clenched, and she kept shaking her head and fighting off the tears that threatened to fall. 

Spencer let two minutes of silence go by before she sighed and pushed back her own bar stool. She looked at Aria, her own eyes filling with tears, her heart shattering at the realization that maybe she’d have to walk away from her best friend. As she walked past, she placed her hand on Aria’s shoulder and squeezed it gently, a gesture of a goodbye she didn’t want to say.

Before Spencer could move her hand, Aria had covered Spencer’s hand with her own, a silent pleading. 

“P-please,” Aria choked out. “Don’t go.”

Spencer pulled Aria in for a bone crushing hug as they crumpled to the floor, Aria sobbing into Spencer’s chest. Tears rolled idly down Spencer’s own cheek as she held her friend, her friend who had become a shell of who she used to be.

“I won’t,” Spencer promised, using her sleeve to wipe Aria’s tear stained cheeks clean. 

“I’m so sorry I ruined everything,” Aria sniffled. 

“Hey, hey, you didn’t, alright?” 

“I broke up your family and my friends hate me!”

Spencer held Aria’s face steady, looking her straight in the eye.

“What I said about you breaking up my family — I shouldn’t have said that. You didn’t. That’s not on you, Aria, that’s on my father,” she nearly spat the words. “And your friends don’t hate you. They’re just hurt.”

“Would none of you have done the same thing?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. That’s not the point, though.”

Spencer smoothed Aria’s hair and rested her head on top of Aria’s. 

“It’s — it’s hard to talk about, Aria. We just want you to be happy,” she started. “But I think we’re all at the point where we don’t want to be complicit anymore. We didn’t pick up that something was wrong with you.”

“Well, because I lied about what was going on.”

“Despite contrary belief, you’re not a great liar,” Spencer chuckled quietly. “All of your excuses — like going to Ezra’s book thing at The Brew. You’ve always prioritized him over us and we….we came to expect it so when you blew us off, we didn’t think anything of it.”

“I used it as an excuse because I knew it’d be believable,” Aria muttered. 

“You’re my best friend, Aria, and I think I just need to be totally honest with you,” she gulped nervously. “He’s not a good guy. I wish you would have filed that report, or let A.D. turn it in, because Ezra deserves to be in jail. Legally and morally.”

Aria tightened her grip around Spencer like she were a life-raft, like if she were to let go, she’d drown in her emotions. 

“You’ve always isolated yourself because of him — from your friends and your family,” Spencer continued carefully. “You’ve put everything into this relationship. Everything. And you’ll have nothing left for yourself and trust me when I say this, that’s no way to live. That’s not a healthy relationship.”

“It’s not like that, Spencer. I love him.”

“I know you do. But sometimes love isn’t enough. You can love someone with all of your heart — it doesn’t mean you’re right for each other,” Spencer shrugged. “And love doesn’t mean that what he did is okay. And it isn’t your fault.”

Finally, Aria untangled herself from Spencer and sat across from her, cross-legged, folded hands in her lap. Spencer’s only observation was that she looked so small. She was always tiny, but she looked small here. Like she was always making herself smaller to make other people — aka Ezra — bigger than they were. The smaller she was meant the weaker she was and men like Ezra, that’s exactly what they want. For women to be small. Because nobody cares about the small little woman who chips away at herself every day. 

But Spencer cares. She’s always cared.

“I made the decision, Spence. There’s no other way to spin that.”

Spencer reached out and took Aria’s hands in hers, making sure that Aria was looking at her when she said this. She wanted to be sure her friend heard this.

“You were a teenager. A minor,” Spencer murmured. “He stole your ability to make that decision, corrupted it, and gave you that ability back knowing it had been tainted. The only person to blame is him.”

“I don’t know if I can leave. I don’t know if I even want to,” Aria sighed and looked down at their joined hands. “Tell me what to do. Please.”

“You know I can’t do that. And let’s be real, Aria, I don’t make the best life choices,” she snorted. “But this choice? This choice is up to you and only you.”

Aria continued to stare at their hands.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Aria said quietly, almost so quiet that Spencer didn’t hear. 

“We love you, Aria. I hope you know that. We’re going to support you no matter what, but you needed to hear this. You need to think about it, how this relationship has affected your life.”

“Yeah.”

“Something I learned in rehab, they don’t define an addiction by how much of something you consume. It becomes an addiction when it starts to affect your life.”

Aria bit her bottom lip so hard that Spencer could see a divot. 

Spencer checked the time on her phone and cursed — only a couple of hours until the countdown was over. 

“Shit, I gotta go!”

“W-where?” 

Spencer tenderly let go of Aria’s hands and pushed herself up off of the ground, smoothing out her jeans. 

“I promised I’d meet the others at the barn. Em texted and said she and Ali’s date was over and they’re headed over.”

“Oh,” Aria nodded sadly. “Wait. What? Date?”

“Finally, right?” Spencer wiggled her eyebrows.

“No kidding!” 

“I’d invite you to come meet us but I think they still need a bit of time and… well, I think you need to talk to Ezra.”

“It’s fine, Spence. Really. I get it.”

Spencer threw her purse over her shoulder and headed to the door, Aria trailing her to show her out. Turning around, Spencer hugged Aria tightly again, whispering in her ear, “Remember. You’re little, but you’re big.”

Aria wiped away a stray tear as she hugged Spencer back.

“I’ll text you later, if….well. You know. If we’re not….,” Spencer trailed off, smiling to hide her fear. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” Aria whispered, releasing Spencer. 

Spencer smiled briefly before leaving, Aria shutting the door behind her. When she turned around to go clean up their tea, she gasped and jumped, seeing Ezra’s silhouette at the front door. She gulped, hoping he hadn’t been there long. 

But somehow, she had the feeling that he’d been there the whole time.


	2. fool my best friend? you're dead meat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aria comes to some realizations on her own as she comes face to face with Ezra after her talk with Spencer. She's forced to make some big decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **tumblr** ](http://prettylittleliarsxxxx.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> Keep in mind this is Anti Ezra and Anti Ezria

Aria quickly wiped her face free of tears and coughed, clearing her throat awkwardly, nervously. She wondered to herself how long he’d been there, how much he had heard of her conversation with Spencer. The only thought that could calm the fears bubbling up in her stomach was the act that Spencer would have noticed if he’d been standing there. The jaded part of her, however, made her question it, though. What if Spencer was still mad and wanted him to hear this? But would Spencer be so cruel as to put her in a dangerous situation like that, or was that her mind playing tricks on her like it so often did? She decided it absolutely had to be the latter. 

Sighing quietly, exasperated with the way Ezra skulks around, she put a smile on her face, walking up to him and greeting him by kissing him on the cheek. He returned her smile, but looked surprised. She’d been acting so off lately, so uninterested, that the kiss threw him off.

Maybe that was her first mistake. 

“We need to talk, Aria,” he muttered, anger attached to his words. 

The hair on the back of her neck stood uncomfortably tall, and her skin felt like it was on fire. Her stomach rolled painfully and the beat of her heart increased at dangerous levels. It almost felt like she was going to have a heart attack from the amount of anxiety rushing through her body. Did he know? About anything? The conversation with Spencer? The report she had almost filed? Or the awful things she did to her friends? Or would it again be about Nicole? 

“Oh, hum, s-sure,” she tried to reply with confidence in her voice.

He took her by the hand and led her to the sofa. It was almost symbolic of their entire relationship. He was always leading and she never felt like she had a choice but to follow. When he sat down, she followed, seating herself comfortably next to him, one leg up on the cushions so she could sit and face him. She felt like she was in high school all over again. 

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” 

“I-I guess,” she cleared her throat. 

Before she could enlighten him, though, he took the lead back from her. Again.

“I know about the report,” he said as if it were no big deal. “The one you were shredding today.”

“Look, Ezra…”

“No, no. I get it. I mean, I betrayed you in the worst way. Of course you were mad. You wanted to hurt me, I get it.”

The tone in his voice was sad. Manipulative. Like he was aiming to make her feel guilty. Trying to get her to apologize for even thinking about writing the report, let alone writing it and not filing it. 

She crinkled her nose slightly. Wait. How did he know about it? She got that same eery feeling she had in high school when she found out about the book. He had known things he couldn’t have known. Instead of stewing, instead of letting the wondering and the mind wandering eat her alive, she decided to ask. 

“How did you know?”

“I was looking for the spare keys and found it.”

“In my purse?” Aria asked incredulously.

“I locked my key in the car.”

“You should have asked first.”

“You were asleep!” Ezra shouted. “It doesn’t even matter where I found it, the point is that I did! I’m the one who should be mad here.”

Aria was convinced it was far too much of a coincidence. Even if he were looking for the keys, the file had been folded up in her purse — there was no reason for him to ever unfold it. He had to know it had been there previously. She was seething with rage but also full of fear. There was no way he should have known about it in the first place. 

“You’re the one who should be mad?” 

Ezra shifted on the sofa, seemingly trying to get more comfortable by lounging lazily, a foot up on the coffee table. It looked like he didn’t have a trouble in the world, and his attitude frightened Aria. She had to turn down her anger down, it was only going to get her in more trouble. 

“Aria, I could have gone to jail,” he said calmly. 

Her heart faltered at the softness of his voice.

“I know,” she whispered, tears forming behind her eyes again. “That’s why I didn’t actually file it, Ezra.”

“But you wrote it.”

“I was mad! I don’t know what else you want me to say!” Aria exclaimed, finally breaking and letting her sobs come out. 

“I want to know that you’re never going to do this again,” he leaned forward, speaking quietly into her ear. “And I want to know you don’t actually think those things that you wrote.”

He reached out for one of her hands and squeezed. His grip was strong, firm. And she felt like if she said anything wrong, he would squeeze hard enough to turn the bones in her hand to dust. 

“I don’t, I promise,” she replied, as evenly as she could. “I was shredding it for a reason, Ezra, I swear. I didn’t want anybody else to ever see it.” 

She bit her bottom lip, hoping she had been convincing enough, and looked up at him, trying to look as innocent and naive as she felt. Trying to look as small as she felt. Aria was almost one hundred percent certain that if she looked in a mirror right now, she’d see the girl she was when she came back from Iceland. The girl with the big innocent eyes, the long hair finally without any pink, the eccentric goth fashion style, the girl with the big earrings. The one who had never gotten involved with an older man, with a teacher. The one who was coming back to find that her friend was still missing and her other friends weren’t friends anymore. 

They say that when you experience trauma, and you never recover from that trauma, that you stay in that trauma. That you stop developing, that even as you age, you’re still the age you were when you were traumatized. Aria felt like nothing described her better than that. She felt childlike, and never because she was a child at heart, never because she was still a young 20-something year old girl. She felt childlike because she was stuck there. 

The grip he had on her hand stayed firm but not unbearable and she breathed an undetectable sigh of relief. She smiled, but it was small. She wanted to call it a small victory but she wasn’t sure victory was the right word. 

“Good,” Ezra grinned. 

It reminded Aria of the Chesire Cat from Alice in Wonderland and it made her shiver.

“You know I love you, right?” he continued. “I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I know.”

She grinned back, but for the first time in a long time, she didn’t believe what she said. And more importantly, she didn’t believe him. She didn’t know how she had believed him for the last seven or eight years of her life. 

“So, what did Spencer want?” 

“Nothing,” Aria lied. “She had a bad day and just needed to vent.”

“Ah,” he smiled. “Coffee? I have to go check on something downstairs.”

“Sure.”

Aria smiled back as he kissed her on the cheek and got off the sofa and stretched. He was so casual and she couldn’t understand how he was so carefree. She hadn’t been carefree since Iceland and she missed that feeling. Even in Boston, she never truly felt like she was free — free from Ezra, free from Rosewood, free from A. 

Feeling sick to her stomach, she packed a change of clothes and all of her essentials — her phone, her power cord, her laptop, her wallet. She zipped up her bag, and eyed Ezra’s cell phone sitting on the table in front of her. Looking around quickly and listening for the squeak of the stairs, she pocketed his phone, grabbed her bag, and left the apartment out the back door, the fresh air hitting her face. It felt like she was alive again.

At the very least, it felt like she could breathe again. 

She wasn’t sure where she was going, she was just going where her feet were taking her. Unsurprisingly, she ended up at Spencer’s barn, knocking on the door without even knowing. It was like her body just knew where to go and what to do and she didn’t even have to think about it — she was running on auto pilot and fumes.

It felt like she had been knocking forever until the door had opened. Spencer looked surprised to see her there, and behind Spencer were the other girls, rising to their feet with confused, shocked looks on their faces. Hanna crossed her arms and Emily defensively stepped in front of Alison. Aria felt her face flush and all she wanted to do was run — but she had nowhere else to run to. She was so mad at herself that she allowed A.D. to convince her to hurt her friends that way. They were the people she ran to. They were her friends, her family. 

They were her home and she never even realized it.

Or maybe she had been taught not to. She didn’t know anymore. 

Instead of turning her away, Spencer stepped aside and invited her in. 

“Spence! What are you doing?” Hanna demanded. 

“Guys, don’t,” Spencer replied. “Aria wouldn’t have come here tonight unless it were important, just hear her out.”

Spencer smiled and nodded at Aria. It gave Aria the courage, bravery, and strength she needed to continue walking into the barn, everybody’s eyes piercing her skin. Caleb stood in the corner, glaring, as if he had any right to be angry. She fought the urge to glare back — she was going to need his help. 

“I— uhm,” Aria started. “I’m sorry. For what I did. I know I can’t change what happened but I really need you guys to hear what I’m about to say.”

Hanna’s face softened and Emily nodded, taking Alison’s hand and sitting back down. It was like Aria was on stage now — everybody else had taken a seat and looked up at her, like it was time for her to tell some kind of riveting story. 

“I had done those things because A.D. had a report I never filed a—“ 

“We know, you told us that in the woods,” Alison interrupted, irritated. 

Spencer shot her a look and shook her head, wordlessly telling her that now wasn’t the time.

“— Well, the thing is,” she continued, her voice wobbling a bit from the interruption. “I shredded it this morning before the cops came, but Spencer, after you left, I— I turned around and he was just…there. I don’t know how long he’d been skulking around.”

“I didn’t see him in there at all when we were talking…”

Aria swallowed nervously. “He brought up the report, guys. He knew about it already.”

“Wait, how?” Emily asked, confused.

“He said he locked himself out of the car and he needed to find the spare keys and it was in my purse,” Aria paused hesitantly. 

This was a bell she wouldn’t be able to unring. This could change everything. 

“I had folded the report up, it was folded in my purse.”

“I don’t follow,” Caleb said.

“She’s saying that Ezra unfolded it. He wasn’t just looking for keys,” Spencer said quietly. Knowingly. 

Aria nodded, confirming Spencer’s suspicions. 

“I— I think he could be A.D.”

“If he were A.D, why would he look for the report…?” Ali countered. “That makes no sense, Aria.”

“I think he wanted to check if I still had it, if I had gotten rid of it yet,” Aria shrugged. “Look, I don’t have all the answers, okay? I just have a feeling. You didn’t see him tonight, something was different.”

“Okay, Aria, we — I — believe you, but how was he different?” Spencer asked.

“I don’t know how to describe it, Spence. But… I was afraid,” she whispered. “I’ve never been that afraid of him. It felt like he was going to break my hand if I gave him the wrong answer.”

“Does he know you’re here?”

“No. H—he asked me what Spencer wanted and I said ‘nothing’. I said you had just had a bad day and needed to vent. He seemed to accept it but then he said he had to go downstairs to ‘check on something’. I—I left while he was gone.”

Before Spencer could, Alison stood up and pulled Aria in for a hug. It was the last person Aria expected to get comfort from. She sighed, relieved, and hugged Alison back, burying her face in Alison’s shoulder, tears starting to leak from her eyes. She sniffed as quietly as she could and whispered a thank you, before untangling herself from Alison. 

“Uhm, Caleb?” Aria started, everybody in the room surprised. 

“Er, yeah?” 

“On the way out, I swiped his phone,” she replied. “I was hoping you could hack it and maybe find something?”

Aria held the phone out for Caleb.

“Wait,” she stopped.

“What?”

She started examining the phone, her brow furrowed. 

“I— this isn’t his usual phone,” Aria exclaimed. “It’s almost the exact same as the burner phone A.D. gave me. He must have left the wrong one.”

Aria extended her arm towards Caleb again and handed over the phone. Caleb nodded slightly and immediately opened up his heavy duty laptop and started typing, ready to find something — anything. 

It wasn’t long until Aria’s legs finally gave out on her — she couldn’t even get to the sofa in time. Instead, she had collapsed, once again, to the floor. That seemed to be a recurring theme with her tonight. The girls instantly surrounded her, dropping to their knees. Spencer held one of her hands while Emily held the other. Alison and Hanna sat slightly behind her. Alison had her arm around Aria’s waist and Hanna had her hand squeezing Aria’s shoulder soothingly. She cried and they wiped her tears. 

How could she have almost lost them? They were everything to her. 

A heavy, angry sounding knock on the door startled all of them. 

Spencer sprang up as if she’d been taking gymnastics all her life and hurried to the door. Hanna rose and followed Spencer — nothing had changed, not really. She’d make anybody who messed with Aria into dead meat. Alison and Emily stood and helped Aria up, who had began to shake uncontrollably. The three girls practically jogged to the bathroom, locking the door. Caleb slammed his laptop shut and hid it in a kitchen drawer — the knives would keep it company. He took the phone and ran into the bedroom, hiding it under the mattress, and ran back into the kitchen, sitting casually at the table, nodding at Spencer and Hanna. They nodded back and unlocked the door, swinging it open with fake smiles on their faces.


	3. you're tiny and i love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The person at the door causes Spencer, Hanna, and Caleb a lot of grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ **tumblr** ](http://prettylittleliarsxxxx.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> Keep in mind this is Anti Ezra and Anti Ezria

They forced their smiles to stay on their face as Ezra smiled back. It wasn’t his usual smile, not the charming one they were used to. It seemed menacing. 

“Ezra!” Spencer exclaimed. 

“Damn! We were hoping it was Aria,” Hanna lied. 

“Oh, she’s not here?” Ezra prodded. “I went down to The Brew and by the time I got back, Aria was gone. Her bag is gone and it looked like she packed a few things. And my phone is gone too.” 

The girls shrugged in a helpless kind of way while Caleb stayed quiet at the table. 

“Last I saw her was at your apartment,” Spencer said, a slight twinge of accusation in her voice. 

“Yeah, and I haven’t seen her since earlier.”

“Are you sure?” Ezra questioned. 

“Positive,” the girls replied at the same time, nodding confidently. 

Ezra casually shoved his way into the barn, his eyes scanning the place for clues. Any other day, nobody would have found anything wrong with his behaviour, but with the possibility that he was responsible for torturing the girls, for turning their lives upside down again, everything he did was suspicious. The way he sauntered into the room like the world couldn’t touch them. The way his eyes flicked around the room like he owned it and everyone in it. The way his hands clenched and unclenched like he was ready to fight his way out if it came down to it. 

“Where are the others?” Ezra asked nonchalantly. “Emily and Alison?”

The way he said Alison’s name made Spencer’s blood run cold. It wasn’t technically different than any other time he said it, but she noticed something odd in his tone, in the way his face twitched. The ’s’ lingered, as if he were hissing half way through her name. And to Spencer’s recollection, he almost never called her Ali — she was exclusively Alison to him. She was always going to be the missing presumed-to-be dead blonde girl that he was hopelessly obsessed with. Spencer shivered, thinking about what would have happened if Ezra had been successful at finding her first. The mere thought of it made her that much more terrified for Aria. 

“They went home. Ali wasn’t feeling well,” Spencer said, almost too quickly, too knowingly. She had made sure to call her Ali instead of Alison, but it remained to be seen if that had been a good idea or not. For all she knew, it could be a trigger for Ezra. 

“Yeah, morning sickness, or something,” Hanna continued. 

“It’s night time,” Ezra all but growled. 

“She gets it bad at night,” Hanna shrugged, stubbornly crossing her arms again “Google it, it’s a thing.”

“I would, but my phone is missing,” he said between gritted teeth. 

“That’s not our problem,” Spencer said. She said it with a straight face, her eyes locked on the unwelcome man in her living space. 

“You’re being mighty confrontational and aggressive, Spence.”

“My best friend is missing and all you’re concerned about is your God damn phone, so excuse me for having my priorities in the right place, here.” 

Ezra’s face softened just barely enough that Spencer could see the change. She was positive it was all a ruse, though. No matter how much he might ‘care’ for Aria, it would never compare to how much he would care if they had found out he really was everything they initially believed him to be. Predator. Stalker. Narcissist. Sociopath. Spencer kept her guard up, ready to tackle him if it meant keeping him from finding where Emily and Ali were hiding Aria. He wasn’t going to fool them any longer. They weren’t going to pretend he was fooling them. 

Spencer watched as Ezra continued to survey the room, looking for any detail that might be out of place. She remembered his lair in Ravenswood — he was meticulous to an obsessive degree. 

And that’s why he noticed that Spencer’s mattress was not laying as flat as it should be, and the covers that were always tucked in had come untucked and rumpled. She could hear Caleb and Hanna holding their breath as he took slow, purposeful steps towards the bedroom. Spencer had to think quick, she couldn’t just stand there waiting for the shoe to drop. 

“Hey!” she shouted angrily. “That’s my bedroom, what do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Oh, I just noticed the corner of your bed here,” he smirked. “You normally keep your bed so… nice, so clean.”

Spencer felt like she was going to throw up from uneasiness she felt. 

“Shit happens, Ezra. Stay out of my room.”

“No, you know what I think?” he asked.

“I’m guessing you’ll tell us,” Hanna chimed in. 

“I think Aria has been here. You’ve seen her. I think one of you hid something under the mattress.”

He took a few more steps toward the bed and Spencer catapulted herself at him. She hooked one arm through his and used her other hand to grip his bicep tightly, her fingernails digging in. It was moments like this when she wished she didn’t have a bad habit of biting them — maybe she would be able to break skin if they were longer. Regardless, she dug her nails in as hard as she could. 

“Why so defensive, Spence?”

Ezra tried to shake her off, but she held on. She could see his nose twitch in anger and she felt a brief sense of satisfaction. He continued to step, albeit slower, towards the bed and Spencer dug her heels in, trying to pull him back. Ezra let out a huff of air and used his elbow to shove her, his elbow connecting with her abdomen. She grunted from the hit and her grip on him loosened enough for him to pull away and for Spencer to fall backwards onto the ground. Hanna and Caleb rushed to her side and helped her up.

“Ezra, please, stop,” she pleaded, her face flushed. 

Quickly, she hurried in front of him, facing him head on. 

“Tell me what’s under there,” he asked. 

The way he asked was kind and polite. Charming, even. It just made Spencer even angrier and more determined. 

“Look, I didn’t want to say anything before, okay?” she started. “I’m just a little embarrassed.”

Ezra quirked his eyebrow, waiting. 

“I — hum, I was interrupted this morning.”

“Interrupted?”

“Yes, interrupted. Really think about what I’m saying.”

Ezra took a minute to think. He was quiet and curious and seemed to be caught off-guard. Caleb seemed just as confused as to what Spencer was trying to insinuate. 

“Just spit it out, Spencer,” Ezra hissed, tired of trying to figure it out.

Spencer pursed her lips, not wanting to say it. Not in front of him. Even if it wasn’t true. 

“Oh for—,” Hanna sighed dramatically. “It’s her vibrator. Can we all move on, please?”

Spencer nodded along, acting embarrassed even though she definitely wasn’t. She gave Hanna a small thank-you nod and turned back to Ezra, hoping this would put him off the scent. When she turned back to him, however, she felt small and dirty. The way he was looking at her could have been rated M for Mature Content. He looked at her from top to bottom, fixating on her chest before letting his eyes wander down to her crotch. His gaze lingered, a small smile on his face. 

For the first time, Spencer knew what Aria must have felt. She could imagine herself as a teenager craving that attention so much that she’d do anything to get it. Now, though, she just felt intimidated. Like the only worth she had was linked to her genitals. Logically, she knew that wasn’t true, but emotion and logic don’t always like to work together. She didn’t understand how it was possible for a man to make a woman feel so worthless, so inferior, with just a look. Spencer no longer had to wonder how Aria got to where she was, and how she ended up trapped in a frighteningly abusive, predatory relationship. One of the worst parts was knowing that she could have ended up this way with Ian or Wren.

“Prove it,” Ezra dared. 

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you not hear me?” Spencer baited, anger finally overtaking her calm approach. “I said no, but you don’t like to take no for an answer, do you?”

Spencer could die happy seeing the look of utter disbelief on Ezra’s face. 

He lunged forward at Spencer, but she saw it coming. She dove out of the way and crawled hastily to the bed and swiped the phone out from under the mattress. Spencer scrambled to get up off of the floor. Quickly, she stepped around him and began backing away back into the living room, phone in hand. 

She was hesitant to not have herself in between Ezra and where the others were hiding, but if she was reading Ezra correctly — and she hoped to Queen Hippolyta that she was — he was more concerned about that burner phone right now. She waved it around like it was a toy, trying to lure him closer to the door. 

“So that’s one of my missing things accounted for,” Ezra chuckled as he pushed himself up off the ground. “Where’s the other?”

“Aria is not your ‘thing’, you creep,” Hanna hissed, slowly trying to get into the same vicinity as Spencer. 

“Is she still here? Is she hiding?” he grinned. 

It was just a game to him. 

“She dropped the phone off and left, we didn’t even see her,” Spencer replied, saying it in a way that made her almost believe it were true. “We don’t even know what she thinks is on here.”

“If that were true, you’d give me the phone back.”

“Hey, all I know is that Aria gave us this for safe keeping and I would trust her over you any day of my life,” Spencer growled in a low, angry voice. “You don’t get it back until we say you do.”

“That’s quite the challenge you’re posing, Spencer.”

“I’ve never backed down from a challenge.”

“I guess we have that in common,” he smiled. 

Spencer gently shoved the phone towards Hanna and stepped forward. 

“I’ll show you out.”

She walked behind him, herding him towards the door. The rational part of her wanted to keep a safe distance behind, but the irrational part of her — the enraged part — wanted to shove him through the door so hard that he fell to his knees. She decided to stick with the safer, non violent approach and calmly opened the door, having to reach around Ezra, trying to make her hands stop shaking. It was hard to tell if the shaking was due to fear or rage but either way, she wanted to suppress it — at least while he was around. 

“You can go now,” Spencer said as defiantly as she could.

Ezra chuckled lightly. Quietly. It felt threatening. 

He turned so that his back was facing Hanna and Caleb, but Spencer could see his face. His back hid the fact that his hand had found its way around Spencer’s forearm. The grip was so tight that Spencer was positive she’d have finger-shaped bruises the next day. But over her dead body was she going to show any weakness or fear. If you looked at her, you wouldn’t be able to tell that she was in pain. 

“I hope you’re not lying, Spencer,” he whispered through his teeth. “I think you are. But in case you’re not, you better hope you find her first.”

Ezra let Spencer’s arm go and the parts of her skin where his fingers had been throbbed and burned. No matter how much she scrubbed her skin later, she was going to feel dirty for a while. 

“By the way,” he started — louder than before. “You should really tell your detective friend to do a little more work in bed.”

He winked and put on the most devilish grin Spencer had ever seen and walked out, slamming the door shut behind him — so hard that the windows rattled in their place. He had intended to intimidate Spencer. To frighten and embarrass her. 

“I-is this was exsanguination feels like?” Spencer stuttered, stumbling back into the wall, hoping it’d support her enough to stay standing.

It didn’t. Spencer crumpled to the ground like a balled up piece of paper — like all of the blood in her body had really vanished and she was nothing but skin and bones. 

Hanna and Caleb rushed over to her and held her but she felt nothing. It was like she wasn’t even there anymore. She didn’t even know if she was still breathing. 

Hanna whispered to Caleb, “What’s exsanguination?” 

Caleb simply shook his head, silently telling her not now, Hanna. 

“Spencer?” Caleb asked quietly.

Hanna rolled her eyes and gently slapped Spencer on the cheek with her hand. “SPENCER!” 

Emily, Alison and Aria rushed from the bathroom after hearing Hanna shout Spencer’s name in distress. They didn’t know if Ezra was there or not, but they didn’t care. 

When Aria saw Spencer on the floor, she flung herself across the room as fast as she could and crouched down in front of Spencer. 

Spencer vaguely felt Aria’s small but warm hands on the sides of her face. The feeling made her drift out of her near catatonic state — it was like coming back down to earth after being in space. It felt like she was coming back to her body, and it frightened her. It was not a feeling she had ever experienced before — both the out of body experience and the fact that Aria’s mere touch made her come crashing back to reality. 

“H-he’s watching us,” Spencer managed to croak out. 

Aria kept her hands cupping Spencer’s face while the rest of the group looked around the room in fear, looking where cameras could be planted. 

But all Spencer could see right now was Aria.


End file.
